I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Randomize