I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize