I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
