I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
God I need to hump something, right now.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize