he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
