Small penises have feelings too.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
