as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
