She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
accomplished twins. life is a go
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
