Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
