why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
