so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
