whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
