Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
