i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
