The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
