It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
