His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
