In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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