I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
