You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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