I'm going to jail i love you
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
