I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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