Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
this hospital has no fireball
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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