Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
