So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
