"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I want a musical about memes.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
