white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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