My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
