shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
