I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
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