How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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