she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
