at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
We got so high we made milksteak
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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