i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
