Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
