they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
