Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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