I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
