dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
