how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize