she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
