didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
you never un-have a 4some
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
