HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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