He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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