And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize