Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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