I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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