im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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