Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
