i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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