We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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