you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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