so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize