He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
