Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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