Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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