sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Found your dick twin last night
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
