The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
