At least make sure they are 18
Why
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
