How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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