you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Randomize
