This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize