Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
