Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
