Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
