the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Ladies don't puke and tell
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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