My cat gives me a boner
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
