we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
