Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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