He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I think a kid would responsible me up
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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