i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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