Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
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