Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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