bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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