that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
