Dual....:-)
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
