Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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