with your own penis?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
