If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
