paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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